I Just Want a Stinkin' Cup of Coffee Already!!!!

Friday, July 3, 2015
Have you reached it yet?  You know.....the age when you prefer your life to be as simple as possible.  It's that stage we reach when t.v. remotes become complicated, when we look at a new vehicle dashboard and feel like we're in an airplane instead of a car, when we wish the controls on our washing machine and dryer were simply "heavy, light, hot and cold".   You're getting the idea.  Well I've been preferring simple for a while now and that might have something to do with whatever caused our waitress at Friendly's to give us the "senior discount" without us asking.  Boy, that's a reality check.  Whatever the reason, I like my world to operate as simply as possible.  But simple is the last word I'd use to describe my newest appliance.
About six months ago, around the holidays, my mom gave me a brand new Keurig coffee maker.  Now there was nothing wrong with my old Keurig, in fact it's pretty great.  But ... my mom is a dedicated QVC fan and couldn't resist one of their "Today's Special Values" which featured Keurig's new brewer that in addition to a single cup, also brews a carafe of coffee .  This Today's Special Value came with a huge supply of coffee, several replacement filter cartridges and a carafe.  Who could resist that, right?   A while after she purchased it, still unopened in it's shipping box,  mom decided that since she lives alone she would have very few opportunities to brew more than a cup at a time, so she gifted this awesome brewer to me.  She's generous like that.

Fast forward six months, after several queries from Mom regarding if I'd unpacked the brewer, I decide it's time I check it out.  Now, let me explain to you what my old Keurig is ........ it is the very basic of their brewers, the cheapest, baseline version.  It does nothing - except brew coffee.  You fill the resevoir with water, add a coffee pod, place your mug under the brewer and push a button - either for a small, medium or large cup of coffee.  Pretty awesome, right?!?!  Simple, just how I like it.  I love my Keurig. As the only coffee drinker in the house, I can quickly and mindlessly brew my one morning cup while my eyes are still half closed.

Well, that was all about to change.  My first reaction to my new appliance was, "Oh, pretty!"  I continue unpacking....a filter cartridge, several (really several) boxes of assorted coffees and tea, extra filter cartridges, and a couple boxes of larger coffee pods for brewing carafes of coffee.  Ok, this is pretty cool.  You know that feeling...."I guess I can learn to love this new appliance."  And then it hits.....reality.....my life is suddenly far from simple.  Time for the instructions.  First the instructions say to take apart the filter compartment, rinse, soak the filter cartridge and place in compartment.  Easy enough.  After several minutes of muscle and sweat and maybe a mild curse, John finally succeeds at taking the end off the compartment and I proceed to finish the rest of this task.  At this point I will tell you that unlike previous Keurigs I've owned which come with a small fold-out instruction card, this baby came with a BOOK of instructions.  I continue following the instructions, step-by-step, add water and plug in the brewer.  It is at this point I realize "set-up" is not going to be simple.

I have to admit this is not my first rodeo.  Our microwave has this silly requirement that, when the power goes out, it does not just require you to reset the flashing time.....no, in order to do anything one must enter the date - month, day and year!  And then you enter the correct time, including a.m. and p.m. and then....you may use the microwave.  So, I'm pretty used to ridiculous requirements when it comes to  appliances.  Still.....my microwave asked nothin' compared to what my fancy new coffee maker was about to require me to do!   That's because I would soon learn I didn't just own a coffee maker.....this gem just happens to ALSO brew coffee!

As soon as you turn on the brewer, a fancy display lights up all colorfully to inform you (in case you're not bright enough to figure it out) that your brewer is heating up the water.  For those impatient folks....Keurig has figured out how to entertain you while you wait and has cleverly designed this animated pinwheel to watch while you wait.
 Once that is finished, you are taken to the "Set-Up" menu.  That right there was my sign.....be prepared to take my time, read the instructions (I'm one who tries first and reads if necessary, which clearly wasn't going to work today), and just set it up! In addition to making coffee, this puppy has a nightlight. "Great", you say?   Not.....You have to select the time you want your nightlight to come on and when you want it to go off.  Eye Roll.   Then you have to select what color you want the night light to shine in your water.....red, blue, green or white.  Really????  I have a nightlight on my microwave, I don't need one on my coffee maker.

Then you have to set the clock.  And would you believe.....you have to select a wallpaper to be the background on your clock! Whaaat??  There are four options.  I guess that's in case you get bored looking at your clock and need a different 'look'.   You continue set-up.....the language, water filter reminders, enabling auto on and auto off and even setting up 'favorites'.  I haven't gotten that far yet.  Is this a computer or a coffee maker???   I just want a stinking cup of coffee!  I'm thinking if Keurig did a census of who owns this all-star
brewer, I'm guessing no one over 65 buys one and keeps it.  But then again....all of you out there who love to have things that have all the bells and whistles...you're going to love one of these babies.  Write your letter to Santa now!  As for me, now I understand why my husband has a flip phone - his excuse being, "I don't need it to make coffee".   Gee....I wonder if I can use my phone to program my coffee to start the brewer while I'm still in bed?  Shhhh....don't tell that to those enthusiastic appliance engineers.  Otherwise the next generation of Keurigs might just have that feature!  In the meantime I'll keep reading my 'manual' and hopefully will be brewing a carafe within the week!  But for now I think I'll just bask in the glow of my new nightlight.

Post Script:  It's been a little over a week since I wrote this post and I feel it's important to note that despite the extra time and effort involved in setting up this coffee maker......this is one great little machine.  It's wonderful being able to brew a few cups at once and have some options for the number of cups as well as the size of the cups you want to brew.  The coffee is delicious and it's great having a larger water reservoir which means filling less often.  And....I even changed the wallpaper on my clock display today with practically no effort!  So if you're in the market for a brewer that  makes one cup, or four, I'd definitely consider this Keurig.

Thanks for reading and come back soon to Life As I See It.

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