Forever Is Fleeting

 Nothing in this world is permanent and we are foolish when we ask anything to last ... but surely we are still more foolish not to take it in while we still have it.

- W. Somerset Maugham

I've learned this truth over and over again since  I began blogging and photographing our journeys these past ten years.  Sometimes I experience the truth of this quote in the collapse of beloved barns, and sometimes the pain of loss comes in things one should not even expect to be permanent.   Either way, the loss feels the same, expected or not.

One of the advantages of being a passenger on our travels is the opportunity to 'spectate'.  Often the things I'm able to notice as a passenger is something that would be nearly impossible to notice if I were driving, especially on the narrow dirt roads we often take where John is focused on pot holes, wildlife, and navigating oncoming traffic where there is barely room for us both to squeeze past each other.  I have none of those worries, so I have the luxury of just taking in the sights and back in 2015 I first spotted this particular wonder of nature.

If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you know I often see 'things' most people miss.  It's not that I'm a better observer, I just see things 'within the thing' others see.  In this instance, I saw a heart .. a heart inside of a broken and partially decayed tree.  This particular tree was on a seasonal road along the Dunham Reservoir in Grafton.  Since 2015, I've photographed this tree multiple times over the years, almost every time we were in the area.  When I find something that strikes my fancy, I photograph it over and over again, from different angles, in different seasons, etc...  I think I counted about 20 photos of this particular tree taken over the past 10 years.  This year's first trip of the season made my heart do a little pause, a pause not unfamiliar to me when I find a subject close to my heart has taken its last breath.  Just as with barns I know are standing on borrowed time, I knew that this day would come.  Still, the day I'd feared had finally come.

At first I didn't realize as we drove very slowly down the narrow, dirt road but then it registered. "Stop", I said.  "Back up".  John dutifully did as I asked (demanded) and as we backed up several yards I saw what I had almost missed .....my beloved tree had taken its last breath and all that was left standing was about 5' of the trunk.  The 'heart' was broken and lay wounded on the ground.  My heart was broken too.

This was only a tree, a tree that was probably unnoticed by the majority of people traveling this road to launch a kayak or enjoy the view.  It was one of thousands of trees in this forested area along the Dunham Reservoir, just like each of us is just one of millions of people mostly unknown, unrecognized and irrelevant to the majority of people who walk our path each day.  Although we don't visibly stand out in a crowd, each of us is unique and possess a number of talents and traits that are valuable to some, yet are invisible to others.  Like trees, we don't 'stand out' and for the most part we're just another face in the crowd, another taxpayer, another person in the grocery line.  We may be familiar to some, appreciated by some, known well by others but to the masses, we are just another face. To most, my tree was just another tree but to me it was a familiar, friendly face that I admired, and that friendly face met me on my journeys and quietly conveyed that all was right in the world - at least in that corner of the world.

I think sometimes we take things for granted, we take people for granted.  We become accustomed to their presence, to their contribution to our life.  We get complacent about what a difference they make in life.  We stop noticing them, stop appreciating their uniqueness, stop noticing the very things about them that first caught our attention.  We take them for granted and forget that everyone's time has a start date and an end date.  We just don't know what that end date is.  Whether it's a tree or a person in your life, maybe my fallen tree is a reminder to look around and see what you might be taking for granted.  Maybe it's a person you're taking for granted.  Maybe their end date isn't as far in the future as you think it is and the time to savor is NOW.  Don't wait till it's too late!

Now this isn't the only tree that I've become attached to.  There's another one in Grafton that caught my attention early on in our travels.  Maybe one day I'll share that one.  

There's nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend.

- Bob Ross

In honor of upcoming Mother's Day.......

She’s the very Tree of Life to those who embrace her.

    Hold her tight—and be blessed!

-Proverbs 3:18

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A Family of Bluebirds Brings An Abundance of Happiness

 I'm sure you've all heard the phrase, Bluebird of Happiness.  Anyone who is fortunate enough to share the company of bluebirds has experienced the joy these colorful creatures bring.  In all the years I've been attracting and feeding backyard birds, of all many varieties that I've enjoyed, Eastern Bluebirds have been elusive, that is until seven years ago.  I can tell you when I got to see my very first bluebird during the winter of 2018, my heart skipped a beat!  Since that winter, I've been blessed with bluebirds almost year 'round.

I can credit that good fortune due to my wise mother who urged me to put mealworms in our feeders.  My mom knows her stuff and I've yet to meet a bluebird who can resist a steady supply of mealworms.  They're not the only birds who enjoy them either.  At first my bluebirds were mostly winter visitors staying around for easy nourishment, but after a couple seasons except for breeding season, the bluebirds were pretty routine visitors.  Eventually we added some bluebird houses around the yard and in 2023 we had our first brood!  And yes....2023.  I've been waiting all this time to share this experience, one that has repeated and will hopefully repeat this season.

Here's some bluebird facts for you:

• Males attract the female by displaying near the nest cavity.  He goes in and out of the cavity carrying nesting material.  Once he's impressed her enough, she takes over and builds the nest alone.  Pairs usually mate for life.
• Nests are often hidden in shrubs, vines or low trees, 3-10' off the ground and are made of twigs,  bark, leaves and lined with grass or hair.
• She also incubates the eggs alone.
• Broods are usually 3-4 eggs, sometimes 2-5.
• Incubation takes 13-16 days.  Once eggs hatch, both parents feed the young.
• Young usually fledge between 13-19 days.
• Bluebirds typically have around 2 broods a season, sometimes using the same nest a second time.  Fresh material is sometimes added on top of the original nest.  If they don't re-use the nest, males will stay with the young while mom goes to prepare a new nest.
• Average lifespan is about 3 years due to predators.
• Bluebirds eat insects, seeds, fruit and berries.  Though regular bird seed won't attract bluebirds to feeders, once they're eating mealworms, they sometimes eat other types of bird seed.
• Bluebirds prefer open country with woodland edges,  farmland and roadsides in a semi-open habitat. They also enjoy suburbs with extensive lawns, gardens and good nesting sites.
• Although the population of bluebirds was once on the decline, bluebirds are now widespread and abundant, possibly due to the abundance of bluebird houses being provided.  
• Unlike other songbirds, both the male and female sing.

I got lucky the day my first brood fledged.  I'd been keeping an eye out, since the house is not easily viewed from the main living areas of our house.  On this particular day I noticed mom and dad were spending a lot of time outside of the house on a nearby trellis seeming to be trying to coax the youngsters out.  Just like their human counterparts, it took a little encouragement and confidence but finally one after the other, the babies took flight from the safety of their nest out into the vast new world.  

I'd read about fledglings and learned that mom and dad would watch where the fledglings land after their first flight and then join them and stay with them for however long it takes for the next flight to occur.  That seemed to be the case because after that first fledge, I didn't see parents or youngsters for a few days.  Eventually they came back and seemed to be still getting their strength.  For a while they rested on the electrical wires and later on the cartop carriers on the car below the wires.  It wasn't long before mom and dad coaxed the new fledglings to the feeder where at first dinner was served and eventually babes were eating on their own.  

According to Reference.com: The bluebird traditionally stands for happiness. The phrase “bluebird of happiness” was originally coined by playwright Maurice Maeterlinck in his 1908 play “The Blue Bird” and has since entered the popular lexicon. In the United States, September 24 is National Bluebird of Happiness Day.   And from Enviroliteracy.com: The saying about the bluebird of happiness is more than just a catchy phrase; it’s a potent symbol deeply rooted in cultural folklore, literary tradition, and personal aspiration. While the exact phrasing may vary slightly, the core message remains consistent: “Somewhere there’s a bluebird of happiness,” often accompanied by the sentiment that this bluebird represents a source of joy, hope, and fulfillment. This idea suggests that even in the midst of hardship or despair, happiness is attainable and exists somewhere, often just beyond our immediate reach. The bluebird, in this context, acts as a tangible representation of that elusive joy, encouraging us to seek it out and maintain optimism. This isn’t merely a saying; it’s an embodiment of the hope that brighter days are possible. The bluebird’s symbolism has been amplified through its appearance in various forms of art, literature, and popular culture, solidifying its place as an enduring emblem of joy and aspiration.

Funny story - a couple weeks ago, John cleaned out all of our bird houses to ready them for this year's new broods.  In one of the bluebird houses, this is what he found:

Thanks John for the photos!   In another, smaller house, as he was using a dandelion weeder to pry the nest out, out came a mouse!  He plopped into the bucket below, then quickly scampered out of the bucket and a few feet away retreated to a hole at the base of a weigelia bush.  Surprised but focused on his mission, John continued to empty the contents only to be once again startled by a second mouse who repeated his mate's escape into the bucket, then down the hole.  Hopefully the now empty nest won't be so appealing and will be available for this year's chickadee tenants.  

I didn't need all that to let me know how much happiness these colorful visitors bring into my world every season and I hope this post brings a little into yours. 

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Eulogy - A Remembrance to Someone Who Died or a Tribute to Someone Who Lives?

 Thanks to modern technology, in the past couple months I've been able to watch three separate funerals on You Tube.  One was a neighbor friend of my mom's, one was a neighbor of ours and today one was of a man who had been a pastor in our neighborhood church.  I probably wouldn't have attended either of these funerals, but was grateful to have been able to experience them online.  These three people, two men and one woman, were unrelated and quite different, but they shared one thing.....they all lived lives dedicated to serving in one capacity or another, and all of them carried out some of that service in their church.  I know that mostly from listening to their eulogies.

Those eulogies got me thinking - not just about what giving, thoughtful people all three of them were, but the basic idea that without the eulogies, there's much we might not know about these people - and the people whose funerals we might attend.  

According to Legacy.com "a eulogy is a remembrance speech that pays tribute to someone who has died.  Given at a funeral or memorial service, the eulogy highlights the deceased’s unique qualities, importance in the lives of loved ones, and lasting impact on family and community.  The purpose of a eulogy is to reflect on what was special about a person, how they impacted those around them, and how they will be remembered now that they’re gone. The eulogy may include anecdotes about the person who has died, a list of accomplishments. A successful eulogy doesn’t have to be written by an expert to be eloquent or moving. What matters is that the eulogy is heartfelt, respectful, and true to the memory of the deceased."  According to a site, My Farewelling, "the term 'eulogy' comes from the Greek word 'eulogia', meaning 'good word' or 'praise'. The practice of delivering eulogies dates back to ancient Greece, where it was customary to publicly honor the lives of individuals who had made significant contributions to society.   These early eulogies were not exclusive to funerals. They were also delivered during public events and celebrations, serving as a form of public recognition and appreciation. The focus was often on the individual's virtues, achievements, and contributions to society."

When I listen to eulogies, I often find myself wishing the person being eulogized could hear these accolades.  I wish they could hear what people loved about them, admired about their accomplishments, appreciated and valued about them.  I'd love to watch them laugh at the funny stories that are shared about them or witness the smiles and tears of people in attendance as they listen to their eulogy.  I often learn new things about the deceased that I sometimes wish I'd known before they passed.  I can't believe I'm the only person who feels this way.  Seeing these most recent funerals got me to thinking about the subject of complimenting people and especially how 'complimentary' we are after a person is dead.  Why is that?  Is it because as a society we find it hard to say out loud things on our heart? 

I'm the product of the generation that kept their feelings close to the heart.  That generation didn't wear their hearts on their sleeve.  They didn't say the words 'I love you' out loud to people, at least not parents to kids.  I know this because most of my friends have shared that this was also their experience.  We all knew we were loved, but from ways other than words.  Parents didn't boost our egos by expressing pride and we weren't coddled over little stuff.  Perhaps that might explain why it seems easier to pay compliments and note accomplishments about a dead person.  I feel pretty confident that each of the deceased whose funeral I watched were aware of their own accomplishments and the value of their service, and hopefully each of them felt how much they were loved, admired, respected and treasured.  But still, wouldn't it be lovely if they could have heard their own eulogy, heard these sincere and genuine words expressed about them?  

Well I can't say for sure, but last I knew there was no You Tube in heaven.  These fine folks were not privy to things said at their funeral or during the gatherings afterwards.  They all went to the great beyond and I've got to wonder - how good a job are we all doing to make sure our loved ones know before they go just how much we cherish them, appreciate them, are inspired by them.  Are we wearing our hearts on our sleeve or are we being shy about sharing our admiration?

In today's world, I think we've been conditioned to be quick to point out the negative.  When was the last time you took the time to write a good review?  The last time you complimented a grocery bagger or cashier for their efficiency?  The last time you told your spouse what you love about them or told your kids you were proud of their accomplishments?  When did you last share your envy over your neighbor's green thumb or take time to tell a friend what you love about them?  Maybe we've gotten too busy commiserating over the state of politics to focus on these matters of the heart and maybe one day we'll be sorry we haven't spent more time sharing living eulogies instead - before it's too late.

Folks, life is short.  And it's quick.  While some weeks we think we'll never get to Friday, when all is said and done I think we can all agree that life passes with the blink of an eye.  The time is NOW.  Don't wait till someone's wake or eulogy to share how special they were or how they inspired you or what a difference they made in your life.  Sure, their family might love hearing your stories and accolades and for that moment their grief might be lifted, but wouldn't it be nice to tell people directly what they mean to you?  I'm not saying we shouldn't eulogize people after death - what a great way to comfort the bereaved and celebrate the deceased, but let's start celebrating people before they die.  Let's focus on lifting people up, not just praying over their souls after they're gone.  Let's celebrate lives of the living, not just lives of the dead.  I challenge you to take time to write a eulogy to the living people in your life. It can be as short as a few sentence. Eulogize them now.  They and you will be better for it!

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

-Irwin S. Cobb

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Making the Most of Winter Enjoying My Backyard Birds

 There's one perk to being retired during the dead of winter aside from not having to leave the house and that is the time I have to enjoy my backyard birds.  As if on cue, my backyard menagerie is especially active - and plentiful - during this ridiculously cold and snowy month of February and the antics outside my window provide me with entertainment and challenge as I try to photograph the comings and goings of so many varieties of feathered friends.  It's a fun time to be inside the warmth of the house. 

 

If you were to ask me what my favorite bird is, I'd be hard pressed to name just one.  I think I love them all for different reasons.  The bluebirds, which I'd never seen in person till about five years ago, are so colorful and so expressive.

Another favorite of mine is the Red-Bellied Woodpecker...  The male sports a solid red stripe extending from his beak but his female counterpart has a large area of grey between her beak and the start of her red cap.  Did you know this bird can stick it's barbed tongue out nearly 2" past the end of its beak?  His spit is sticky and enables him to snatch insects out of crevices.

The cute little Dark Eyed Juncos appear just as winter is about to arrive and then disappear with the arrival of spring.  At one time they were so fast, it was hard to photograph them.  Lately they seem more relaxed and even eat from the feeders, not just off the ground.

Who doesn't love the darling little Tufted Titmouse?  I love how they grab a seed and flit away, perching on the first nearby spot to crack it open.

There's never a shortage of Blue Jays, definitely not the wallflower at the dance.  These birds are assertive and just a little aggressive on the playground.  But there's no denying they are handsome!

Of course there are the Mourning Doves......

And the little Carolina Wrens......

The White Breasted Nuthatch.............

I was tickled this week for the return of the American Goldfinch....just look.....they are showing signs of their summer colors!!

My least favorite might be the European Starlings.  Besides the fact that they can empty a feeder in record time, they arrive in a mob and have horrible table manners.

The next group of patrons would be the Hairy Woodpecker and the Downy Woodpecker.  Do you know the difference?  The Hairy Woodpecker is slightly larger and has a longer beak.  The Downy has a shorter and squattier beak and he has spots on the sides of his tail feathers. The male of both species have a red spot on the back of their head - the females do not.

Of course, who doesn't love the Black-capped Chickadee....

If you saw my previous post, you know  I love Northern Cardinals.  Who doesn't?  

Whew!   All this birdwatching has made me sleepy.....I think somebody else is sleepy too....the House Finch.

I hope you've enjoyed some backyard birdwatching with me!  I can't say feeding this menagerie is cheap, but it's definitely worth the investment - year 'round.  I think my bird buddies would agree!

Come back soon for more Life As I See It and be sure to share this post with your bird loving friends!

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