Eulogy - A Remembrance to Someone Who Died or a Tribute to Someone Who Lives?

 Thanks to modern technology, in the past couple months I've been able to watch three separate funerals on You Tube.  One was a neighbor friend of my mom's, one was a neighbor of ours and today one was of a man who had been a pastor in our neighborhood church.  I probably wouldn't have attended either of these funerals, but was grateful to have been able to experience them online.  These three people, two men and one woman, were unrelated and quite different, but they shared one thing.....they all lived lives dedicated to serving in one capacity or another, and all of them carried out some of that service in their church.  I know that mostly from listening to their eulogies.

Those eulogies got me thinking - not just about what giving, thoughtful people all three of them were, but the basic idea that without the eulogies, there's much we might not know about these people - and the people whose funerals we might attend.  

According to Legacy.com "a eulogy is a remembrance speech that pays tribute to someone who has died.  Given at a funeral or memorial service, the eulogy highlights the deceased’s unique qualities, importance in the lives of loved ones, and lasting impact on family and community.  The purpose of a eulogy is to reflect on what was special about a person, how they impacted those around them, and how they will be remembered now that they’re gone. The eulogy may include anecdotes about the person who has died, a list of accomplishments. A successful eulogy doesn’t have to be written by an expert to be eloquent or moving. What matters is that the eulogy is heartfelt, respectful, and true to the memory of the deceased."  According to a site, My Farewelling, "the term 'eulogy' comes from the Greek word 'eulogia', meaning 'good word' or 'praise'. The practice of delivering eulogies dates back to ancient Greece, where it was customary to publicly honor the lives of individuals who had made significant contributions to society.   These early eulogies were not exclusive to funerals. They were also delivered during public events and celebrations, serving as a form of public recognition and appreciation. The focus was often on the individual's virtues, achievements, and contributions to society."

When I listen to eulogies, I often find myself wishing the person being eulogized could hear these accolades.  I wish they could hear what people loved about them, admired about their accomplishments, appreciated and valued about them.  I'd love to watch them laugh at the funny stories that are shared about them or witness the smiles and tears of people in attendance as they listen to their eulogy.  I often learn new things about the deceased that I sometimes wish I'd known before they passed.  I can't believe I'm the only person who feels this way.  Seeing these most recent funerals got me to thinking about the subject of complimenting people and especially how 'complimentary' we are after a person is dead.  Why is that?  Is it because as a society we find it hard to say out loud things on our heart? 

I'm the product of the generation that kept their feelings close to the heart.  That generation didn't wear their hearts on their sleeve.  They didn't say the words 'I love you' out loud to people, at least not parents to kids.  I know this because most of my friends have shared that this was also their experience.  We all knew we were loved, but from ways other than words.  Parents didn't boost our egos by expressing pride and we weren't coddled over little stuff.  Perhaps that might explain why it seems easier to pay compliments and note accomplishments about a dead person.  I feel pretty confident that each of the deceased whose funeral I watched were aware of their own accomplishments and the value of their service, and hopefully each of them felt how much they were loved, admired, respected and treasured.  But still, wouldn't it be lovely if they could have heard their own eulogy, heard these sincere and genuine words expressed about them?  

Well I can't say for sure, but last I knew there was no You Tube in heaven.  These fine folks were not privy to things said at their funeral or during the gatherings afterwards.  They all went to the great beyond and I've got to wonder - how good a job are we all doing to make sure our loved ones know before they go just how much we cherish them, appreciate them, are inspired by them.  Are we wearing our hearts on our sleeve or are we being shy about sharing our admiration?

In today's world, I think we've been conditioned to be quick to point out the negative.  When was the last time you took the time to write a good review?  The last time you complimented a grocery bagger or cashier for their efficiency?  The last time you told your spouse what you love about them or told your kids you were proud of their accomplishments?  When did you last share your envy over your neighbor's green thumb or take time to tell a friend what you love about them?  Maybe we've gotten too busy commiserating over the state of politics to focus on these matters of the heart and maybe one day we'll be sorry we haven't spent more time sharing living eulogies instead - before it's too late.

Folks, life is short.  And it's quick.  While some weeks we think we'll never get to Friday, when all is said and done I think we can all agree that life passes with the blink of an eye.  The time is NOW.  Don't wait till someone's wake or eulogy to share how special they were or how they inspired you or what a difference they made in your life.  Sure, their family might love hearing your stories and accolades and for that moment their grief might be lifted, but wouldn't it be nice to tell people directly what they mean to you?  I'm not saying we shouldn't eulogize people after death - what a great way to comfort the bereaved and celebrate the deceased, but let's start celebrating people before they die.  Let's focus on lifting people up, not just praying over their souls after they're gone.  Let's celebrate lives of the living, not just lives of the dead.  I challenge you to take time to write a eulogy to the living people in your life. It can be as short as a few sentence. Eulogize them now.  They and you will be better for it!

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

-Irwin S. Cobb

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Making the Most of Winter Enjoying My Backyard Birds

 There's one perk to being retired during the dead of winter aside from not having to leave the house and that is the time I have to enjoy my backyard birds.  As if on cue, my backyard menagerie is especially active - and plentiful - during this ridiculously cold and snowy month of February and the antics outside my window provide me with entertainment and challenge as I try to photograph the comings and goings of so many varieties of feathered friends.  It's a fun time to be inside the warmth of the house. 

 

If you were to ask me what my favorite bird is, I'd be hard pressed to name just one.  I think I love them all for different reasons.  The bluebirds, which I'd never seen in person till about five years ago, are so colorful and so expressive.

Another favorite of mine is the Red-Bellied Woodpecker...  The male sports a solid red stripe extending from his beak but his female counterpart has a large area of grey between her beak and the start of her red cap.  Did you know this bird can stick it's barbed tongue out nearly 2" past the end of its beak?  His spit is sticky and enables him to snatch insects out of crevices.

The cute little Dark Eyed Juncos appear just as winter is about to arrive and then disappear with the arrival of spring.  At one time they were so fast, it was hard to photograph them.  Lately they seem more relaxed and even eat from the feeders, not just off the ground.

Who doesn't love the darling little Tufted Titmouse?  I love how they grab a seed and flit away, perching on the first nearby spot to crack it open.

There's never a shortage of Blue Jays, definitely not the wallflower at the dance.  These birds are assertive and just a little aggressive on the playground.  But there's no denying they are handsome!

Of course there are the Mourning Doves......

And the little Carolina Wrens......

The White Breasted Nuthatch.............

I was tickled this week for the return of the American Goldfinch....just look.....they are showing signs of their summer colors!!

My least favorite might be the European Starlings.  Besides the fact that they can empty a feeder in record time, they arrive in a mob and have horrible table manners.

The next group of patrons would be the Hairy Woodpecker and the Downy Woodpecker.  Do you know the difference?  The Hairy Woodpecker is slightly larger and has a longer beak.  The Downy has a shorter and squattier beak and he has spots on the sides of his tail feathers. The male of both species have a red spot on the back of their head - the females do not.

Of course, who doesn't love the Black-capped Chickadee....

If you saw my previous post, you know  I love Northern Cardinals.  Who doesn't?  

Whew!   All this birdwatching has made me sleepy.....I think somebody else is sleepy too....the House Finch.

I hope you've enjoyed some backyard birdwatching with me!  I can't say feeding this menagerie is cheap, but it's definitely worth the investment - year 'round.  I think my bird buddies would agree!

Come back soon for more Life As I See It and be sure to share this post with your bird loving friends!

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Winter is for the Birds and Enjoying the Northern Cardinals

 In order to see the birds, it is necessary to become part of the silence.

-Robert Lynd

Winter always seems like a good time to rest, to inhale the fresh, crisp air, to slow down and ponder our direction into the new year.  January for me is a time to pause and plan, a time to focus and refresh.  The outside world has been particularly noisy lately, chaotic and conflicted.  I've been intentional about stepping away from the noise, away from social media and to spend time doing the things that ground me and bring me peace.  One of those things is enjoying the backyard birds.  Although I have a large variety of species frequenting our feeders, I have to admit the cardinals have been a particular delight this year.  I don't know if it's the introduction of black oil sunflower seeds (we usually serve sunflower hearts which alleviate the mess), or the relentless cold, but this year I have at least six pair of cardinals.  They definitely add a pop of color, especially against the white snow.

Northern Cardinals are the state bird of 7 eastern states: Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky, North Carolina, West Virginia, and Virginia.   They are not migratory birds but they can be found in half of the country in the eastern states, Texas, Mexico and Central America.  

Habitat choice for cardinals consists of woodland edges, thickets, suburban gardens, and towns in brush or open areas.  Their average lifespan is 3 years due to predators, but some have been known to live 8 or 9 years. 

Unlike other songbirds, both the male and female cardinal sing.

Cardinals eat insects, grain, fruit and seeds, cracked corn, safflower seeds, and their favorite, black oil sunflower seeds.  

Cardinals are monogamous and often mate for life.  Males and females both work on nest building which takes about 8 or 9 days.  Nests are made of twigs, grass, bark strips, and leaves and are lined with grass or hair.  Nests are hidden in shrubs, vines or low trees no more than 3-10 feet off the ground. 

Male cardinals sing to defend their territory and attack intruding males.

First broods of the season are usually in March.  Females lay 3-4 eggs, occasionally 2-5.  The female incubates the eggs alone.  Eggs hatch in 12-13 days and nestlings are then fed by both mom and dad.  Young leave the nest in 9-11 days!   Males often stay and feed the fledglings while mom goes to prepare a nest for the next brood.  Cardinals do not use any nest twice.

Juvenile cardinals have black beaks but when they have their first molt (when they're about a year old), both male and female beaks turn orange.

Cardinals are widespread and abundant and are not considered endangered.

While I may have an abundance of cardinals this year, I also have a large variety of feathered friends who depend on us for a smorgasbord, several feeders kept full daily thanks to my wonderful hubby. Stay tuned for my next blog where I'll be giving those species their moment in the spotlight.  Sadly, we also have had some occasional visits from a sharp-shinned hawk and sadly a female cardinal became a casualty.

I wish there was a way to prevent this and I wish I didn't have to see it, but unfortunately that's how nature works.  

I hope today's post gave you a few minutes of peace and joy and will inspire you to step away from the things that trouble you while you take a moment to marvel at God's handiwork!  

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