As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. - John F. Kennedy
November.....the month of Thanksgiving. Stating that almost seems simplistic, sort of like how we associate presents with Christmas. In a way both of those ideas seem old school, so mundane. It reminds me of the phrases, 'Please and Thank You' which sometimes seem to be spoken mindlessly, without effort and maybe even without any sincere consciousness of their meaning. At times they become more habit than genuine expression. We teach babies to say them even before they comprehend the meaning behind the expression. For many, gratitude is not a regular emotion as we live in a fast-paced world currently complicated by political conflict, personal struggles, abundant negativity and widespread mental health issues. For others, just keeping an attitude of positivity is challenge enough, much less find reason to be grateful. If only we could replace some of the negativity in our lives with positivity, specifically with gratitude.
"Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling." — Henry Van Dyke
If you've ever noticed a student's artwork around Thanksgiving, typically what kids are grateful for are: parents, pets, their home, etc.. As adults if pressed, we list things like: our spouse, our home, our job, our health. While all of these answers are things deserving of our gratitude, I have an idea, a challenge if you will, of a more specific gratitude focus. In addition to these things, what if we broadened our view and focused on 'people' we're grateful for?
“We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.” ― John F. Kennedy
I don't know about you but in my older age, I've become more aware of the people around me, not just my family and friends, but people outside my inner circle....our very kind mail carrier, the cashiers at Trader Joe's who seem to always be cheerful and thrilled to handle our purchases, a receptionist at the doctor's office who acts like you're her only concern, that neighbor that never misses an opportunity to wave. Collectively, it's those people who can make a bad day feel less terminal. What if throughout the month of November each day we focus on noticing those individuals who, quietly, without fanfare, make our life just a little better. A week ago we were in Market 32. It'd been a long day and I was tired. Of course, the only lanes open were self-checkouts so as John scanned, I was emptying the cart. One small item had rolled to the back end of the deep cart. I couldn't reach it from where I was unloading so I came around the other side of the cart and just as I was about to strain to grab it, a front-end manager came over and started emptying my cart for me. I was shocked - and grateful. I asked, "Do I look that tired that you came to help?" He just smiled and after finishing, walked away. That's the person I'm talking about. Sometimes in our hectic world, we might just take those random acts of kindness for granted and assume that was just part of his job. That day - in October - I was particularly grateful for this kind human. Of course, with all the Hannaford remodels locally and the addition of a higher shelf in every aisle (higher than the old one that I already couldn't reach), a feeling of gratitude is pretty common when I shop.
“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ― Voltaire
How is this sounding so far? Easy? Well, the challenge goes deeper. What if we not only 'felt' gratitude towards people, what if we made sure we shared it? I don't mean by just saying Thanks. What if we used our words - spoken or written - to really express our gratitude. I know speaking emotionally is hard for some people, and it doesn't come naturally for others - not necessarily because they don't feel it, maybe it's just not communication that feels comfortable to them. For those folks, a simple 'thank you' will suffice and technically, that's not a bad thing. But what might the world feel like if more people began to feel seen, really seen and appreciated in a way that feels extraordinary. What if we actually could tell people what a difference their even small gesture made in our day? How would WE feel if someone told us we made a difference?When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. -Gilbert K. Chesterton
So what is my challenge? During the month of November, I challenge you to each day be intentional about noticing the people around you. Notice the 'extra' someone does. Think back to people in your life - currently or past - whose kindness, or generosity or influence made a difference in your day or maybe even in your career, your recovery, your faith. Try to remember those instances - big and small - that made you stop and feel a moment of relief or joy or gratitude. Maybe write them a note to tell them what a difference they made. Think of your neighbors, your teachers, your waitresses, your service workers. I bet there are many folks who, over time, have touched you in a special way without expecting anything in return. This month be thankful for them - all of them and share your gratitude with them. Start a chain of gratitude towards the people all around you. Inspire them to do the same. And if you do, let me know in December how it changed your life. My hope is that maybe this won't just last through the month of November but that it becomes a year-round habit that will change lives.
Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. - John Milton
