A Random Act of Kindness Remembered Two Decades Later

 

John and I recently took my mom for a medical appointment.  John waited in the car, ready to meet us at the door when we finished what was expected to be a quick ultrasound, but I went in to keep her company in the waiting room.  My mom is a very social animal, so it was not unusual that quite promptly she was having a conversation with the lady sitting next to us.  The conversation centered on my mom’s walker – not the usual, sort of ordinary four-wheeled walker with a seat and basket, but a very streamed lined, sleek, red walker that looks like something Mr. Spock might have used if he’d needed one on the Star Trek series.  These two gals bonded as they talked about walkers like men at a cruise-in talk about their classic cars.  Both admitted to owning more than one and both well versed in everything ‘walker’.

Because my mom had an appointment, she was called in before her new friend, so I continued the conversation.  I began by asking if she could guess my mom’s age…..knowing full well no one can ever guess, and most guesses are nearly a decade low.  As I expected, MaryAnn guessed low and when I told her my mom just turned 94, she did what everyone does.  Her jaw dropped and her eyes expressed genuine amazement.  We continued to chat and I asked her if she lived locally since she was using this particular medical center.  She told me she lived on Saratoga Lake and I shared that my mom had also lived on Saratoga Lake.  We shared more specifics regarding the exact location and suddenly she asked, “Did you mom have flowers”.    This question didn’t shock me, my mom is well known for her gardens.  Her gardens had quite the reputation  - in fact, they’d actually stop traffic.  Even people who didn’t know her personally knew of her and referred to her as ‘the flower lady’.  When I answered, “yes, she had a lot of flowers,” the story took on a whole new life.

MaryAnn proceeded to tell me a story about my mom, one I’d never heard specifically, but one I know could be told by many people who regularly traveled around Saratoga Lake.  MaryAnn said, “your mom gave me flowers.  Well, she didn’t give me flowers, she came and planted them in my garden….lilies.  She gave me lilies.”   You can imagine what a déjà vu moment this was for this stranger who was the recipient of my mother’s kindness and generosity more than 20 years ago.  In fact, my mom moved away from the lake 14 years ago.    Both women have aged some since this flower gift took place so neither of them recognized the other until the story came out.

While my mom was having her appointment, MaryAnn got taken back for hers, but when my mom came out, I relayed the discovery of their connection so many years ago.  Mom was surprised but vaguely remembered her memorable gesture.  We waited for MaryAnn to come out and the two of them had a mini-reunion.  It was something special to witness.

What struck me about all of this was not just the coincidence of meeting old neighbors at the most unusual place, but the long-lasting impact a simple random act of kindness can have on people long after that kindness is shared.  I’ve long been aware of my mom’s love of flowers that extends to her generosity of sharing her passion and products of her green thumb far and wide, but seeing first hand how that passion continues to impact people decades later was very profound.  I am quite confident that there are many more people out there that could tell similar stories about flowers that came from mom’s garden.

How do we change the world?

One random act of kindness at a time.

-Morgan Freeman

Life is busy today. Most of us barely get through the day managing our own ‘to-do list’.  We’re distracted by the news, by the state of the country, by the economy, by the pace of life in general.   It takes intentionality to make time to think of others, to perform random acts of kindness, to do something out of the ordinary, to do something that people will remember long after.  What will people remember you did for them one day?   What will be your legacy?  What are you doing to leave an imprint on people?  I think we sometimes feel like actions are required to be big and sensational to be meaningful, but this story reminds us that a simple bunch of lilies taken from one garden and planted in another can be meaningful and remembered decades later.   Although my parents never had a conversation with me about this subject, they both showed me by their actions how to be thoughtful and generous and neighborly.   I think I’ve tried to live up to their example, and I hope one day when people mention my name, some of them will remember something kind I did for them  What will people remember about you?  Let this story be a inspiration to never stop performing little acts of kindness.  You never know who needs it.