Nostalgia....The Time Machine That Transports Us Back to the Past

Nostalgia is a privilege. Yearning for our own memories proves that we've lived a life worth living.

I saw this quote on social media today and it struck a nerve, not just the premise it was trying to convey, but the selection of words the writer used to convey it.... privilege, yearning, life worth living.  

Nostalgia:  a feeling of pleasure and also slight sadness when you think about things that happened in the past, a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations. By dipping into nostalgia, we can develop a narrative of who we are. We are connected to our past and feel a sense of continuity through nostalgia.

From Psychology Today: Johannes Hofer, a Swiss physician, coined the term in 1688; at that time, longing for the past and homeland was deemed an illness. Thinking about yesteryear can be filled with regret and bittersweet remembrances, and for people who are prone to rumination and depression, nostalgia can sometimes foster a negative state of mind. Nostalgia, however, is now generally regarded in a positive light. It’s self-reflection that connects us to fond memories and can help build a coherent sense of identity.  We often rely on our autobiographical memories, which can be emotionally charged depending on the events that happened. We may also reform our memories into an idealized version of the event; in effect, we focus on the positives and minimize the negatives.

Nostalgia is something I've become quite familiar with in the past five years, probably since Covid gave us all some free time, time I used to explore, sort and organize family photos and research our family ancestry.  Doing that evoked so many memories, it sort of reignited the past and sparked memories I had tucked away or simply forgotten.  I have also come to the conclusion that it isn't really until we are older, retired and facing our own mortality that we begin to 'relive' our lives - through things like photos, stories, reminiscing with surviving family members, etc...  When we're in our 30's, 40's, and 50's, we're busy raising families, holding down jobs, and meeting all the demands of a productive life to earn a living while making our own memories.  It's not until these demands lessen, our families are raising their own families, our careers are finished and we are facing our own uncertain futures that we have the time to think about our past. We now have an appreciation for the life we lived, sometimes at a pace that didn't always afford us the time to savor those moments.  It's sort of when we wake up one day and realize our toddler is graduating from college.  Of course, that's an exaggeration, but we can all agree that life and time seem to pass at lightening speed.

I have another reason that I believe makes me a little more desperate to research and record my history, the fact that I am an only child, my dad was an only child and my mom had one sister who is deceased.  That leaves my team of 'historical resources' pretty short staffed. In other words, one day there'll be no one to fill in the historical blanks of our family story and my only resource will be my own memories.  Who knows how long those memories will be vivid and clear or when they'll become a blur of bits and pieces.  I've long treasured my life and the people in it and have written extensively (3 books) about people and events throughout my life.  At the moment, no one is particularly interested in any of it, but I'm confident one day someone will be - even if only me when my memory begins to fail me.  

About a year ago, I received an email through Ancestry from a cousin who 'found me' on that site.  It was a pretty wild and extremely exciting surprise as I had not seen this cousin in probably 67 years.  Karen's grandparents lived downstairs from my grandparents.  Her grandfather was my grandmother's brother.  Karen and her family lived in Massachusetts but came to visit her grandparents and on occasion, we were there at the same time.  She is a few years older than me, so she has vivid memories of me and my parents and grandparents.  She also remembers my baby brother and clearly remembered the change in everyone's demeanor the first time she visited after he passed at 11 months of age from spinal meningitis.  Talking with her and hearing her describe that and my grandparents was as if someone had teleported me back to the 1950's giving me a glimpse of life and emotions surrounding an event that was life changing for many in my family.  She gave me details of a time when I had none, just photos.  We lost connection when my grandmother sold her home and her grandparents moved to Massachusetts.

Karen and I had a reunion last year with our spouses and have talked many times this past year.  We've reminisced about the family, have dug through ancestry facts trying to decipher timelines and identify family members in old photos.   Having her has given my life, my past, my ancestors, something concrete.   She's filled in some blanks and added color and detail to a time that was previously one dimensional.  Aside from my mom, Karen is the only family I have left who can validate that part of my life and the people I so dearly miss.  She has made my nostalgia of that era materialize into something tangible and real.  And the ironic thing is, even though I probably last saw her at age 3, we have so much in common and can talk for hours, not even just about family history.  I'm a little sad that we connected so late in life, but ever so grateful we found each other after all these years.  

Why do we go back?  What draws us from our present day life into the past, a time long gone, a time we cannot revisit.  Is it loneliness, regret, awareness that perhaps our future is waning and we're desperate to hold on to what is coming to an end?  Maybe it's just a longing for the people and times we can't access any other way but in our memories?  Do you embrace nostalgia or do you run from it?  

Nostalgia can be filled with sadness or it can be filled with joy.  A lot depends on your life circumstances, whether your past was filled with joy or with pain, but I think it's also about attitude.  When I researched more quotes about nostalgia, many of them were negative and often implied that nostalgia makes us remember the good times and erases the bad times, often giving us a less than accurate record of the past.  Perhaps that is true.  I am blessed to have a lifetime of wonderful memories, volumes written about people and times that have shaped me into the person I am today and even if nostalgia makes me a little sad about the things I've lost, I'm grateful to have had so much to want to memorialize.  I've heard people say they can't go back, that going back is too painful and I get that. But how wonderful it is when we're able to have memories and reminders of  times and people in our lives today that can trigger nostalgia to transport us back to those days.  I hope that this triggers your own nostalgic memories and helps you relive the happiest times of your life.   Kris Kristofferson said in a song lyric,  “I'd trade all my tomorrows for one single yesterday.”  I wouldn't trade all my tomorrows, but wouldn't it be amazing if we could get back even one yesterday?  Thanks for letting me share Life As I See It with you!

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Come Along On a Peaceful Journey Through Montgomery County's Amish Country

 Finding beauty in a broken world is creating beauty in the world we find. 

-Terry Tempest Williams

We live in a world of plenty, at least most of us do, those reading this anyway.  Sometimes it's easy to take for granted how much we have, the conveniences around us - electricity, internet, motor vehicles.  It's not hard to forget that not everyone lives with the same abundance as we do.  Some even choose to do without, particularly the Amish.  It's been quite a while since John and I took a drive to the Amish communities in Montgomery County so we headed there last week and it only took a moment to remind me why we find a visit there so sacred and grounding.

Aside from the simple life the Amish live, their work ethic is probably the thing I find most impressive.  Even the youngsters can be seen working outside alongside parents and siblings.  Another great thing the Amish can be credited with is preserving green space out in the country where land is farmed and crops and animal keeping ensures the land is not filled with industry and concrete.  Consequently, spending an afternoon there relaxes the mind and reminds one of simpler times.  There is something sort of sacred about the atmosphere, at least for me, perhaps knowing that God and Faith are the basis to the Amish way of life.

Put everything in God's hand and eventually you will see God's hand in everything. - Amish Proverb

A little more laughter, a little less worry, a little more kindness, a little less hurry.

- Amish Proverb

Life is not a problem to be solved, but a gift to be enjoyed. 

- Amish Proverb

Good character, like good soup, is usually homemade.

- Amish Proverb

No dreams come true unless we wake up and go to work. 

- Amish Proverb

Instead of putting people in their place, put yourself in their place.

- Amish Proverb

Many people fail to recognize opportunity because it comes disguised as work.

- Amish Proverb

Contentment is not getting what we want but being satisfied with what we have. - Amish Proverb

Teaching children to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is better.  

- Amish Proverb

An unkind remark is like a killing frost.  No matter how much it warms up, the damage is already done. 

- Amish proverb

A great deal of what we see depends on what we're looking for. 

- Amish Proverb

I hope that you've enjoyed this trip through Amish country.  And I hope the Amish proverbs inspire your week ahead to live simply, love greatly and let kindness lead you.  As always, thank you for letting me share Life As I See It.

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Is Your Family Story Being Preserved or Will It Live Forever In The Cloud?

What is it they say?  "A picture is worth a thousand words". This is so absolutely true of a collection of photos like this one.  A few years ago, I began organizing my family history.  I started researching my ancestry, I did a DNA test, I organized hundreds of old family photos passed down from relatives on both sides of the family, and I began to more intentionally share our family history with our kids and grandkids.  I began displaying old photos so we could see and appreciate them on a daily basis.  What I found in surrounding myself with 'history' was that not only were my descendants learning about their ancestors, I was sparking old memories and rekindling my love and appreciation for those family members - many who were long gone. 

The collection in the display piece above (thanks to a gift by my brother-in-law many, many years ago) reminds me that my love of Saratoga Lake and all bodies of water is probably inherited from a long line of relatives who also loved and made so many memories on the same lake I grew up on every summer of my life.  It wasn't until 13 years ago that those times ended when my mom sold our family home on the lake.  To explain a few of the photos in this display (numbers on the photos):

1. This is a photo of my dad driving his fishing boat, his mother, my Mimier sitting arms crossed, wind in her face probably in the mid 1960's.

2. My mom driving the boat with Snake Hill in the background, an iconic sight present in so many old family photos as well as ones I've captured over the years.

3.   My dad relaxing while he fished, me imitating him, again Snake Hill in the background.

4.  Many years earlier, probably 1940's, my grandmother and 3 of her sisters-in-law, once again on Saratoga Lake.

The Saratoga Lake photo collection (only a fraction shown here) wouldn't be complete without a photo of me and my bestie, Ann Marie. (bottom center)

Ann Marie and I have been besties since 1957.  Although we grew up in Cohoes, she visited our then campsite at the lake many times.  I know she carries many memories of those times, times that included both of our families.

The only ones left in this group which includes her grandparents and mine are the two of us and her brother...a sad and stark reality.  Fortunately, my mom, who was the photographer, is still also with us.  While that reality brings a moment of sadness, mostly what this photo emotes for me is a feeling of gratitude, gratitude that even as an only child my 'family' extended far beyond the 3 people sitting at our daily dinner table.  I feel gratitude for having a friend who feels more like a sister with 68 years of experiences and memories shared - including our mom's hair permanent experiments that left us looking like we were brillo pads as evidenced above.

Beyond the shores of Saratoga Lake, I have evidence that my relatives enjoyed other bodies of water, including the ocean.  I have a photographic collection of them wearing a diverse variety of swimwear, some more comical than others.  These photos of great aunts and uncles, grandparents and even our own two girls when they were little all tell a plethora of stories of days gone by, all filled with summer memories and family times together.

My Great Aunt, My Grandmother and My Dad

They are a reminder that my grandfather's brothers and their wives were always an integral part of my dad's life and then mine.  Those great aunts and uncles were more like grandparents to me and were a regular presence at our Sunday table and holiday gatherings.   These photos are such a valuable part of my life. They tell the story of my past, they are my family's history, they are my family's legacy - on paper, a record of lives never to be forgotten.

What I realized back when I began to organize and showcase this collection was how lucky I am to possess such a concrete piece of history.  Because my grandmothers were both avid picture takers and my parents followed suit, I have an enormous collection of visible evidence of the family that came before me. Not only do I have a record of the times the family shared together, but also of each family member through the years and in many cases photographic evidence of the stories I've heard told at the dining room table, often more than once.  I have photos that help me remember times my mind has forgotten.  I am able to share those memories, those family times, those people with my kids and grandkids so that they too will have some familiarity with the people who paved the way for them.  In a small way, I am able to preserve those people, those times, those memories for years to come - even after I'm gone.

Today most people rely on their phones for capturing moments, from the birth of their babies to graduations, from vacation snapshots to first days of school.  We capture life's most important moments on cell phones.  Those moments, those precious memories rarely exist outside our phones or on our cloud back-up.  How, may I ask, will we share those moments, those memories that mean so much, with generations to come?  What will future generations have to serve as witness to their legacy?  

I take hundreds of photos on a pretty regular basis.  I always have.  I have thousands of photos of my girls growing up, stored chronically in photo albums.  When our first granddaughter was born, I took photos daily.  I printed them and had two albums, each with 200 photos - all before she turned 2.  After that I stopped printing photos. Each year I print a photobook for each grandchild which includes all the photos taken that calendar year - some I've taken, some their parents have taken.  I wanted to ensure they would have a printed record that would last through the years, one they could look at easily.  Recently my second granddaughter was looking through my photo albums.  After looking at her sister's two albums, she asked where her albums were.  She was not happy when I told her I stopped printing photos when she was born, but that she has books with the photos in them instead of individual photos in an album.  That didn't really appease her; she was sad she didn't have an album of her own. 

What will your ancestors have to remember you and your family's history?  What I hope this post accomplishes is to encourage you to not rely on digital photos that live on your phone and in your cloud back-up to memorialize your family history.  When you are gone, your grandkids won't have access to your cloud storage. They won't be able to flip through photo albums or loose photos in a shoebox.  They won't be able to see you enjoying the same vacation spots where you spent your summer vacations, or playing sports you played as a kid.  They won't be able to look at a photo and imagine those family holidays of days gone by. They won't have a tangible, visible history of your family legacy.  And won't that be sad?  I know how easy it is to snap a cell phone photo.  I may still use a camera for most of my photography, but only a fraction of the photos I take, even the best of them, rarely end up in print.  I urge you to begin to take the time to print some photos, even if it's the highlights of your year.  You may feel you don't need them, but trust me - your kids and grandkids and generations beyond will wish you'd made a tangible record of your family and your story!  I'm grateful my ancestors did and I thank them every time I look at them!  The least I can do is pass the favor on to my own kids. You can too! It's not too late to start today!  P.S.  If you're lucky enough to have old family photos tucked away in a box or old albums....dig them out and display them.  Use them to share old family stories and to tell your kids and grandkids about their ancestors.  Let their stories live on!

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Forever Is Fleeting

 Nothing in this world is permanent and we are foolish when we ask anything to last ... but surely we are still more foolish not to take it in while we still have it.

- W. Somerset Maugham

I've learned this truth over and over again since  I began blogging and photographing our journeys these past ten years.  Sometimes I experience the truth of this quote in the collapse of beloved barns, and sometimes the pain of loss comes in things one should not even expect to be permanent.   Either way, the loss feels the same, expected or not.

One of the advantages of being a passenger on our travels is the opportunity to 'spectate'.  Often the things I'm able to notice as a passenger is something that would be nearly impossible to notice if I were driving, especially on the narrow dirt roads we often take where John is focused on pot holes, wildlife, and navigating oncoming traffic where there is barely room for us both to squeeze past each other.  I have none of those worries, so I have the luxury of just taking in the sights and back in 2015 I first spotted this particular wonder of nature.

If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you know I often see 'things' most people miss.  It's not that I'm a better observer, I just see things 'within the thing' others see.  In this instance, I saw a heart .. a heart inside of a broken and partially decayed tree.  This particular tree was on a seasonal road along the Dunham Reservoir in Grafton.  Since 2015, I've photographed this tree multiple times over the years, almost every time we were in the area.  When I find something that strikes my fancy, I photograph it over and over again, from different angles, in different seasons, etc...  I think I counted about 20 photos of this particular tree taken over the past 10 years.  This year's first trip of the season made my heart do a little pause, a pause not unfamiliar to me when I find a subject close to my heart has taken its last breath.  Just as with barns I know are standing on borrowed time, I knew that this day would come.  Still, the day I'd feared had finally come.

At first I didn't realize as we drove very slowly down the narrow, dirt road but then it registered. "Stop", I said.  "Back up".  John dutifully did as I asked (demanded) and as we backed up several yards I saw what I had almost missed .....my beloved tree had taken its last breath and all that was left standing was about 5' of the trunk.  The 'heart' was broken and lay wounded on the ground.  My heart was broken too.

This was only a tree, a tree that was probably unnoticed by the majority of people traveling this road to launch a kayak or enjoy the view.  It was one of thousands of trees in this forested area along the Dunham Reservoir, just like each of us is just one of millions of people mostly unknown, unrecognized and irrelevant to the majority of people who walk our path each day.  Although we don't visibly stand out in a crowd, each of us is unique and possess a number of talents and traits that are valuable to some, yet are invisible to others.  Like trees, we don't 'stand out' and for the most part we're just another face in the crowd, another taxpayer, another person in the grocery line.  We may be familiar to some, appreciated by some, known well by others but to the masses, we are just another face. To most, my tree was just another tree but to me it was a familiar, friendly face that I admired, and that friendly face met me on my journeys and quietly conveyed that all was right in the world - at least in that corner of the world.

I think sometimes we take things for granted, we take people for granted.  We become accustomed to their presence, to their contribution to our life.  We get complacent about what a difference they make in life.  We stop noticing them, stop appreciating their uniqueness, stop noticing the very things about them that first caught our attention.  We take them for granted and forget that everyone's time has a start date and an end date.  We just don't know what that end date is.  Whether it's a tree or a person in your life, maybe my fallen tree is a reminder to look around and see what you might be taking for granted.  Maybe it's a person you're taking for granted.  Maybe their end date isn't as far in the future as you think it is and the time to savor is NOW.  Don't wait till it's too late!

Now this isn't the only tree that I've become attached to.  There's another one in Grafton that caught my attention early on in our travels.  Maybe one day I'll share that one.  

There's nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend.

- Bob Ross

In honor of upcoming Mother's Day.......

She’s the very Tree of Life to those who embrace her.

    Hold her tight—and be blessed!

-Proverbs 3:18

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